J-Curve Session 1: (Pastor Matt Carter, Class Intro and Chapter 1)
Class Description: Session 1, Chapter 1
We’ll introduce the J Curve through the lens of a trip that Paul Miller took to Florida with a daughter affected by multiple disabilities. We’ll consider the various elements of a J Curve, and why we should view various forms of suffering as a normal part of the Christian life. We don’t embrace suffering with a stoic or fatalistic mindset, but with the great hope that suffering will always lead to beautiful resurrections along the way.
Class Notes:
Adult Ed.
J Curve session #1
I’d like to begin our time together by reading through the entirety of Isaiah 53.
• Isa. 53:3 He was despised and rejected by mankind,
a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.
Like one from whom people hide their faces
he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.
• Jesus not only endured suffering, he moved toward it, he embraced it because he anticipated resurrection on the other side of it, not only for himself, but for those he’d come to ransom!
This book is about learning to embrace all kinds of suffering because we’ve become convinced that there’s something really good on the other side of it. We expect resurrection, not only an ultimate resurrection at the consummation of Christ’s kingdom, but many smaller resurrections on the way to that one.
Our format:
• Our trimester has 13 weeks - this book has 36 chapters
• We’ll plan to cover 1-2 chapters over the next two trimesters
• Books are available
• Please read through the next two chapters prior to each class
• I’ll be pulling out salient points for our discussion, but please feel free to bring your own discussion questions and thoughts as you wish.
• Highly interactive
• Theological yes, but intentionally highly practical.
Chapter 1: “I Will Never Do This Again”: The J-Curve and How It Helps
1. Paul Miller begins by describing how he took his daughter Kim, who suffers from a number of different disabilities, on a speaking trip that he had in Florida. He did it to give his wife Jill some much-needed rest. The early parts of the trip were tremendously trying. Let’s look at page 18 and read the last paragraph which ends on page 19.
a. Why can we relate to this man?
2. Let’s read the next two paragraphs. As we do, look for a word that ties them together.... (Normal)
a. If this book is anything, it is a call to recognize the various sufferings that we face as normal, as expected, as something we should embrace. There are many reasons that we battle in our hearts and minds to reject that concept. What are a few of them?
i. Suffering is unpleasant
ii. Our culture loudly speaks a very different message
iii. Much of Christian culture speaks a different message
3. On page 20 PM describes three elements that all J curves possess - discuss them:
a. Enter some kind of suffering in which evil is weakened or killed;
i. Where is the evil weakened or killed? (in us)
b. Weaken the flesh and form us into the image of Jesus;
i. He must increase and I must decrease
c. Lead to a real-time, present resurrection
i. I actually begin exhibiting the character of Christ.
4. Right away here on pages 20-21 PM shows us the little resurrections that took place as a result of the dying that he had to enter on his way to Florida with Kim.
a. Read highlighted on page 20 under Dying and Rising... Isn’t this actually the perfect place to be before getting up to speak before a large crowd? (2 Cor. 12:7-10 My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness... That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
5. Now so far PM has been relating the importance of this J Curve principle in the context of his own personal life, but he’s about to fly a little higher and show us why this J Curve is not just important in our personal lives. It’s important in our culture. Look over at page 21. There he describes the central moral vision of our age - a vision he calls ‘feelism’.
a. What is feelism? How would you describe it?
b. Why is it dangerous?
c. Here’s a critical point: Read yellow highlighted. PM is not advocating for some kind of stoicism where we set our emotions on the shelf as if they weren’t important at all. He’s looking for emotion to be balanced and rightly informed! Emotions alive!
6. Now on page 22 PM gives us his contract. This is why he wrote the book and why he hopes you’ll invest the significant time and energy not only to read through it, but to process what you read. Here’s what he hopes you’ll receive if you make the commitment! Read pink bracketed.
a. Now that’s a lofty goal... Do you want it? Does it inspire you or discourage you? Why?
7. There are many ways of responding to stress and suffering. PM introduces us on page 22 to two of them. Unpack both the Manager and the Therapist. Describe each.
8. Both the manager and the therapist miss love: Read Page 22 final pink bracket.
9. So is the J Curve actually Biblical? Look over on page 23: Read pink bracket PM is arguing that the J Curve is intensely biblical here. As we read through the book PM will show us again and again how this is the case.
10. Outline of the book: I’d like to invite you to turn back to the table of contents as I read through PM’s description of each of the sections. As you turn there you’ll see five distinct sections: Read
End Chapter 1
Chapter 2: "I Take Your Place": The Substitutionary Nature of Love
1. PM begins by talking about the substitutionary nature of love with two illustrations. The first, on page 25, is about how he got death and his wife, Jill got resurrection because he’d taken Kim, their special needs daughter, to Disneyworld. The second example he gives comes from a pretty famous musical. (Play the You Tube clip from Les Mise’rables.)
a. Why does the Bishop’s reaction fly in the face of all that is natural in us?
b. Clearly we know that there’s some flawed theology here. A soul can never be ransomed with silver. That said, how painful was this ransom to pay?
2. PM is going to dive into the writings of the apostle Paul to demonstrate the substitutional nature of this kind of dying. Let’s look at Colossians 1:24...
a. On the surface, what unsettles us about this passage?
b. What did Paul mean by it?
3. Next PM turns us to the letter that was the companion letter to the letter to the Colossians. He turns us to Philemon, that 1 chapter letter to Philemon regarding his slave Onesimus... Onesimus had been Philemon’s slave and had run away from Philemon and found himself in the company of the apostle Paul. There, under Paul’s influence, he turned to Christ. Paul was sending Onesimus back to Philemon with this letter in hand. (Read Pink pages 28-29)
a. Do you agree with the apostle Paul that the gift of a $150,000 slave is something that can and should be assumed between Christian brethren? Why or why not?
b. Why did Paul assume this of Philemon? Was he right to do it?
c. Respond to the Jimmy Agan quote on page 28... “The DNA of Jesus has so shaped Paul that he can’t imagine a Christian life that isn’t radically shaped in this same way.”
i. How does or doesn’t that way of thinking square with the current state of 21st century evangelicalism?
4. Tell the story of Ed the Sheep. Then read (page 30 Pink bracket)
a. The problem wasn’t Ed. Discuss this! Why was Ed not the problem? Why do we tend to focus on the thing that, on the surface, appears to be the problem?
b. What do we tend to do at this point in the conversation? “Let me prove to you that Ed is fine.” We want to be right about Ed.
c. Demonstrate the Peacemakers X Y axis here.
d. Why was Jill’s anxiety the issue? (Because loving my wife as Christ loved the Church looks substitutional!)
e. When Paul went out to check on Ed he was reenacting the gospel. Read pink bottom of pg. 30)
5. Where are we, as a group of individuals in terms of embracing this vision of what it means to be Christians?